Coming back

Recently I received an award at work that I never saw coming. No, really, I didn't. 

When I took this job a year ago, it was a last ditch attempt to convince myself I could still be relevant in a world that was slowly kicking me out. I was 63 and could not think about retirement.  I had tried and failed to stay employed. And honestly, my self-esteem was on a very long vacation and my feeling that  I could compete in a job market full of 20-somethings was slowly dwindling.

There is nothing more difficult than feeling insignificant, or unable to matter in a world where you have no other choice but to live. The only goal there is, is better. Do better. Beat the non-believers. 

When  I walked through the door of that little office I just wanted some place that would keep me employed. Pay the rent.

That little office, and that interview would lead me to believe in myself for the first time in a few years. 

I met people that believed in me.

 I met people that trusted that I could do what I told them I could without judging. And then they gave me a chance to prove it.

I met one person in particular that said, "I want to work with her." And it was you that changed my life.

You allowed me a chance to shine. To do good work. And to work with good people.

You laughed when I made mistakes, and let me know that learning this business was not easy.

You laughed when I sent you on a goose chase into the mountains. You hated that you were going but you never once made me feel bad for sending you. Through that laughter  I learned not ever to send you into the mountains again. 

You have taught me about the work we do and how it's not just a business, it's life. It's mobility. It's freedom.

You have been my friend, and teacher. You are a chapter in my book. 

This work is a chapter in my book.

 An award? No, I never saw it coming.